Theo(Z) restaurant review🍕

When I first started writing this, I spelled Theo’s Theo’z with a z and, frankly, I think they’re missing  trick by not naming it that, it would be so much more down with the kids.

Sometimes you just want a pizza, but don’t fancy taking out a small mortgage and/or clogging your arteries with grease for the foreseeable future, so you don’t fancy Domino’s.

When Lauren lived in Brighton, there was a very conveniently placed establishment over the road called Pizza 500 – you could literally see it from her window – which served, YOU GUESSED IT, pizza. The only problem with it was the fact that inside it looked like someone had just set up a restaurant in their shed – the tables were all really close together and the kitchen and till was stuck right bang in the middle of the room, so whilst you were waiting for your pizza you were basically sat on someone else’s calzone. The pizza was super good, although they never cut it into slices so it resulted in me drunkenly tearing apart the dough with my hands on more than one occasion.

Anyway, I was saddened when she moved out of Brighton that we would no longer have fresh, crispy Italian pizza on tap whenever we fancied it.

This is where Theo’s/Theo’z comes in. I’d seen it on Instagram (just browsing the #pizza tag, as you do), and it’s about a 6 minute walk from our flat, so it’s not QUITE as close as Pizza 500 was but still acceptably close.

Whilst Lauren was away, my parents came up to the flat to help me move in, and they fancied dinner so I spied my opportunity and suggested we walk up to Theo’s. Firstly, it was warm, so we sat in their little outside courtyard which had fairy lights and climbing plants and it made you forget you were in the middle of London.

Courtyard garden goals.

Pizza at Theo's

I had a veg pizza (in contrast to my post about Flat Iron, I just fancied some veg) and my mum  – who has the appetite of a small sparrow – ordered some bruschetta. Normally when you go to Pizza Express or Zizzi or the like the bruschetta is essentially toast with some Sainsburys Basics salsa on it (not that I’m complaining, it’s tasty) but NOT AT THEOS. It was like freshly chopped tomatoes with garlic and onion and tomato and an ENTIRE BALL OF MOZZARELLA.

Not just a couple of slices with a token bit of basil.


So what I’m saying here is there wasn’t much mozzarella. Forts she couldn’t eat it all (sparrow) so I got to swoop in (hey, a bird metaphor) and finish off the mozzarella.

Other things I like about Theo’s:

  • They do San Pellegrino which always makes me feel like a fancy bitch even though I’m just drinking a subsidiary of Nestlè but oh well
  • They are on Deliveroo so if you’re feeling particularly lazy, someone will bring your pizza to you, and then you get to do the little ‘Deliveroo!’ shout that everybody does when they see a Deliveroo person
  • They slice their god damn pizza. Theo’s 1, Pizza 500 NIL

Basically if you’re in the SE5 area and are even remotely hungry, I’d check it out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to try and find a reason why I shouldn’t order a pizza right now this second…

Kitchen at Theo's Pizza


Note: These images are taken from Theo’s website and are not mine. Check them out.

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